The KitPit in life #Conditionserioushai

cadbury5star

Long long ago but not very long ago there lived a couple whose parents had married them off happily, Kitkit and Pitpit were total opposites in nature. Pitpit the girl was composed and liked to enjoy life but Kitkit the boy was shrewd and always in a hurry. But there was something about Kitkit! Whenever a newton’s apple fell on this otherwise sluggish couch potato he got started on it till he finished it no matter what but a hangover of this hurriedness lingered in all his actions, whether or not he actually finished the job he surely kept everybody on the run.

He was blessed by ‘Annoying Orange’ and had the boon to annoy anybody anywhere. He hurried everyone like a ruthless PT master repeating his lines like one of those teleshopping ads that keeps playing endlessly while Pitpit watched and bore it all helplessly like one of those true Facebook friends who tolerate and accept all those dumb Game invites and keep liking every silly post.

His favorite catch word was ‘CHALO’ which he used like a full stop or a comma. Every time he said something he would suffix or prefix it with ‘CHALO’. People around him suffered from hyper tension, high BP, acute headache, sleep disorders, short and long term memory loss because of this annoying catch word but Kitkit wouldn’t give up. So here’s a little bit of kitpit that that is witnessed by millions of married couples. In fact you can you use this kitpitometer scale to ascertain since how long a couple is married.

Scene 1: How Kitkit and Pitpit got married

An Indian bride is generally very emotional, conscious about her every move and extra graceful during her wedding.

It was Sapthapadi time a ritual where the ends of bride and bridegroom’s wedding robes are tied together and the couple walk around the sacred fire to take vows, Pitpit took slow steps gracefully but Kitkit echoed with his famous ‘CHALO’  and Pitpit had to buck up her speed, he kept hurrying her up after each round.

Scene 2: Kitkit and his dog

One day Kitkit came back from office totally tired, his pet dog Max greeted him with great affection wagging its tail and followed him to the settee and sat down cozily beside his master’s stinky feet. ‘CHALO Max’ he called out, the dog stood up and ran to the entrance very enthusiastically thinking his master would take him for a walk,  Kitkit once again motivated the dog CHALO Max Chalo and then dozed off.

Scene 3: Its movie time

Kitkit: Chalo Bhai chalo’ we are late for the movie, get ready fast.

Pitpit rushed to get ready as Kitkit switched on some cricket highlights and had 2packets of chips, a pot of tea, 2 samosas and one big sandwich.

Pitpit is ready and comes out of her room

  Pitpit: ‘Kitkit’ where are you? Are you ready?

Kitkit: Oh yes! Yes give me two minutes he screamed from the loo and was locked for the next 25 minutes.

Pitpit knocks the door……..

Kitkit: Give me 2 minutes I will be there in 5minutes ‘tum CHALO tho sahi’,

Scene 4: The Kitpit travel treads

Kitkit and Pitpit had trekked up a steep mountain early in the morning at 3am to catch a glimpse of the breathtaking sunrise view at the Himalayan ranges. They climbed hastily as the guide asked them to buck up with swift big steps making sure they didn’t miss the serene enchanting experience they were about to witness.

Panting and puffing in a freezing climate they reached the top after a 40 minute tiring trek with all that heavy paraphernalia they had wrapped themselves in, it was pitch dark, Kitkit and Pitpit couldn’t find out in which direction to look at.

Suddenly it appeared as if somebody cut the treasure box of gold with a silver sword, the first rays of the sun lit up the skies. A silver lining broke out revealing a golden red spread across the skies reflecting on the white snow mountains that stood unshaken by all this magic as if they were in deep penance who took no notice of the youthful dawn smiling brilliantly.

Suddenly all that weariness from the climb seemed to disappear as Pitpit plunged in the supreme sereneness, after all she had travelled 4000km for this moment she wanted to sing to Kitkit….

‘yeh hasin  wadhiya….

yein kulaan aasama…..

agaye hum kaha……

yein mere saajana’ but her thoughts were interrupted by a click click click click sound and then ‘CHALO’  I am done with my photography. But Kitkit! we just came 6.5 minutes back and you already want to leave? Yes, we are late for our next destination before which we should also quickly freshen up at the hotel room and reach the restaurant on time else we miss the free breakfast.

CHALO everybody CHALO, another couple who shared the same taxi with them were furious and gave him such looks as if to throw him down from that very mountain, as if to wash him in a dhobi ghat manually beating him on a hard rock but quietly came along with a steely face.

Scene 5: A Romantic evening walk

The evening was filled with cool breezes and Pitpit thought it was perfectly romantic to go for a walk. During the course of their walk Kitkit strides past Pitpit in his usual style leaving her way behind him as if on a race. Pitpit wondered if this man ever understood anything about togetherness and thought was he a premature born or prematurely silly and stupid just as she saw him turn back and call out CHALO JALDI(hurry up).

Scene 6:Beach Masti

It was a pleasant October morning and the twosome stayed at a beach resort. They ran on the silken sand to sink all that stress and strain against the fresh bounty wave, they enjoyed a couple of waves crashing against their feet and Kitkit looked at his watch CHALO the parasailing sport has picked lot of business nowadays if we don’t rush we may not get to parasail before lunch.

They hired two cycles and raced to the Coco beach where parasailing rides happened. In the next 30 minutes they were seated in a dingy boat that drove to a point where they could see only water all around them, Kitkit started clicking pictures zooming in on the sea and trying to find some underwater creature as his dear wife geared up to fly high with all those belts and buckles around her and said to him ‘hey don’t you think you should be clicking my pictures at least now’.

Oh yes! Sure I will when you are landing he said as she took off amidst that noisy cord unwinding at the push of a lever. She dangled high in the sky and eureka!! There was nothing more exciting than this she was left with a spectacular panoramic view of the blue seas and the sounds of the gushing winds. She felt like a little bird that sat on a rainbow joyously away from the chaotic buzz of life. For a change there was no one to say ‘CHALO’ she sighed and giggled. A few seconds later she noticed that she was losing altitude, the life that looked like a miniature beneath her a while ago was now slowing magnifying. She was pulled back much before the 20 minute ride that was promised to her. She was determined to fight with the boatman who had probably cheated her or was it a technical snag or had the diesel run out. She landed right on board as Kitkit cried ‘CHALO’ the camera battery is dead, we have to return those hired cycles on time else he will charge us extra, also I was starving and getting roasted in this hot sun hence I asked him to withdraw the cord and land you quickly hope you enjoyed CHALO let’s get going!!

By the way I am sorry I just ruined your blockbuster plans on Facebook because I couldn’t click your parasailing pictures as I clicked too many shots of the ocean I guess.

She wanted to strangle him with that very rope and throw him in the sea but for the boatman she gleamed a benevolent smile unstrapped all that gear looking at him fiercely as if to say come back to the room.

Various other CHALO scenes:

The country bus farted with its diesel engine on as it waited for all passengers to come on board and then Kitkit tapped the wall of the bus saying CHALO, the bus moved leaving the conductor behind who was still peeing by the road side who had to run desperately after the bus.

Kitkit is driving a scooter and is struck in a traffic jam, the reason for the jam… a herd of buffaloes are happily sitting in the middle of the road chewing away to glory, all motorists honk and go mad but to no respite. Kitkit then assumes form and says CHALO the buffaloes panic and move away.

Kitkit attends his son’s sports day the kids are all set and positioned to begin the running race waiting with bated breath to get the start signal, just then Kitkit yawned and stretched a little in his chair and pronounced CHALO. The kids drifted like speeding trains and there was no looking back. The sports teacher was left fuming and perplexed wondering who had given the signal.

Kitkit and Pitpit are getting ready for office, CHALO we are late you can have your breakfast in the car, she packs her breakfast and rushes to the car, she opens the box to eat the dosas that has now become soggy just then Kitkit realizes that he has forgotten his laptop home so they reverse back. Darling! can you go and get that laptop bag I don’t want to waste time by getting down again.

Grrrrrrrrrr……….

Kitkit and family were getting ready to attend a party. Kitkit got the son ready but Pitpit was still plaiting her daughter’s hair, she had barely done one plait just then Kitkit hurried them up ‘CHALO I am holding the lift door open for you and there are people waiting in the lift’.

She rushed into the lift dragging the little one with a half done hair, the lift door closed and she saw that her little son stood there without a pant. She gritted her teeth in disbelief and gave a savaging look, Kitkit casually said CHALO…it’s okay, can you go back and get his pants.

Pitpit murmured where do I bury my head oh god!!!!!!!

She could as well bury it here at the Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page

Kitkit waited at the auto stand, a dusty auto with an antique engine slowed down near him whose driver looked scary like a pirate chief.

Kitkit quickly sat into the auto and said CHALO(lets go).

The evil looking driver said ‘Nahi chalega’(I will not go)

This is my entry for the Cadbury 5 star ‘conditionserioushai’ contest in association with Indiblogger

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